So When You're at a Party this Weekend

And some hot-shit talks about the mean thinking he knows statistics. . .

Multiplying 4 by 5 is like Adding Five 4s Together

Thanks for the clarification.

In China, the Only Thing with Four Legs They don't Eat. . .

. . .is tables and chairs.

Your Thingy's in My Ear

And I'm OK with that.

Sit on One Side of the Fence or the Other

Otherwise, it just hurts your crotch.

Look Even More Forward

To Letters Thursday.

E-Kwee Distance

It's pronounced e-kwol you fucking prick-head bastard!

Look Forward

To Letters Thursday.

When I Cross the Line

I cross it with such distance that the line has no choice but to move in my wake.

Statistics and Logistics

Make me wish I was eating fishsticks.

Is Ignorance Bliss?

Or is it just simpler?

Where the Line Blurs

That is where you'll find me.

I'm Going to Steal It

By steal, I mean confiscate.

By Confiscate, I Mean Smuggle

By smuggle, I mean smut.

I Said it in Sign Language

For like four hours straight.

For Fuck's Sake

Live with some attitude.

Fucking

Santino!

I Wonder When the CIA Will Realize. . .

. . .that they are using a black highlighter.

I Really Wish You'd Give Me Some

Anal cunt.

I'm Still Not Convinced

That sleep isn't a conspiracy.

I Would Never Say

The things that Jon Garfield says.

She isn't My Type

Mine has herpes.

If the World Doesn't End

How are we supposed to go on living?

Testing, Testing

One, two, three.

You Can't Trust Me Around Anybody's Brother. . .

. . .with a telephone or a rock.

The Secret to Getting Famous

Is that you just keep saying 'yes'.

Oh Yeah

Uh huh.

Only Cretins and Logicians don't Contradict Themselves

And in their consistency they contradict life.

Dogma is a Method of Making Experience More Tolerable

Not a method of understanding experience or even of accurately describing it.

I've Got Mucky Gums

Curse you, Southern Belle!

There isn't a Man Alive Who'd Dip His Genitals in Benzethonium Chloride

Any women who sprays her's with it is a dupe (the vagina is a self-cleaning organ).

Politics is for People Who have a Passion for Changing Life. . .

. . .but lack a passion for living it.

Ah, Sir Penis, that Old Show Stopper

Chalk up another stolen scene for the one-eyed matinee idol!

If Time Eats the Doughnut. . .

. . .does love eat the hole?

If It's Sloppy

Eat it over the sink.

Is That a Spoon in Your Pocket?

Or do you just have a tumor?

Mmmmmmm

Teflon.

It Sure Takes Guts. . .

. . .to lose them.

Guts

http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

Should I Eat More Food?

Is that what you want me to do, God?

Creation

Convulsion.

The New Year Can Change a Man

I joined a cult.

What's the Magical Thing to do?

Shrink it, shrink it, shrink it!

What are You?

I'm purple.