Wild Keyboardz

Download the new internet-only Wild Animalz album, titled 'Wild Keyboardz'

We will Kill every One of God's Children

To save our own.

What You don't Understand

You can make mean anything.

They Always Knew the Phase of the Moon

But seldom the day of the week.

Texans seem to be a Lot more Comfortable around Disastrous House Fires

Then they are around anal sex.

A Boeing 747 is a Plane

A Swingline 747 is a stapler.

There's Your Old Friend, the Z-Score

Coming back to haunt you, again.

Now, Here's the Real Kicker. . .

. . .

PEMDAS

Pencils Eat My Damn Ass Sometimes.

So When You're at a Party this Weekend

And some hot-shit talks about the mean thinking he knows statistics. . .

Multiplying 4 by 5 is like Adding Five 4s Together

Thanks for the clarification.

In China, the Only Thing with Four Legs They don't Eat. . .

. . .is tables and chairs.

Your Thingy's in My Ear

And I'm OK with that.

Sit on One Side of the Fence or the Other

Otherwise, it just hurts your crotch.

Look Even More Forward

To Letters Thursday.

E-Kwee Distance

It's pronounced e-kwol you fucking prick-head bastard!

Look Forward

To Letters Thursday.

When I Cross the Line

I cross it with such distance that the line has no choice but to move in my wake.

Statistics and Logistics

Make me wish I was eating fishsticks.

Is Ignorance Bliss?

Or is it just simpler?

Where the Line Blurs

That is where you'll find me.

I'm Going to Steal It

By steal, I mean confiscate.

By Confiscate, I Mean Smuggle

By smuggle, I mean smut.

I Said it in Sign Language

For like four hours straight.

For Fuck's Sake

Live with some attitude.

Fucking

Santino!

I Wonder When the CIA Will Realize. . .

. . .that they are using a black highlighter.

I Really Wish You'd Give Me Some

Anal cunt.

I'm Still Not Convinced

That sleep isn't a conspiracy.

I Would Never Say

The things that Jon Garfield says.